The 7th E: Enshrinement of Intellectual Property

Though you wouldn't know it from looking at me, I am actually a somewhat vigilant citizen. As a result, I feel that I must bring some examples of COPYRIGHT MALFEASANCE to the attention of the internet community. Unfortunately, due to limited time, resources, and interest, it is unlikely that these cases be investigated further.

EXHIBIT A: The 6 Es

• Spiritual Growth Plan
  
• Character education, complements of Dr. Kevin Ryan
• My personal favorite, Charlie Grapski for the Florida House. No idea what happened in the campaign, as all web activity ceases in July of '06. Not a good sign. Indeed, there is more to follow: YouTube, where would we be without you? I especially like the soundtrack, which I’m pretty sure is from V for Vendetta. I wonder if Warner Bros. minds... Anyway, here's some more of Charlie's pursuit of election reform. With a vengeance. Or is it vendetta?
  

EXHIBIT B: Tour de France – courtesy of our southern friends. [Note: I will not be commenting on the rumors that the Bus will be adding "Exclusion" to their own 6 E's.]

EXHIBIT C: Wow. Windows Vista

You’d think Windows, which has a couple of resources at its disposal, could come up with a killer marketing campaign for their most revolutionary operating system redesign of this millennium. Turns out, a Bus isn't that bad a way to do things. Right down to the logo. [By the way, I've been on the road between Nashville and Murfreesboro—known to the natives simply as "Murfburr"—and there ain't much out there. Except, evidently, the Windows Vista Bus. Have they lost their bus and need help finding it?]

And finally, EXHIBIT D: going straight for the jugular

• I’m all for making KC a cleaner place to live, but I’m not sure how to live more efficiently. I do, however, thoroughly enjoy making fun of funny grammar, especially when it appears on websites or billboards
• Can’t go wrong with a “Vote with your Butt” Campaign. Or can you...
• Clean energy comes to Canada!
• Quite possibly the most sophisticated coloring contest ever. I can't make fun of them though. At least not more so than I already have.

Things to know about Oregon, and Warcraft too

I <3 the Internets! They're so silly. They brought you here, after all! But they brought other people here too, via some pretty awesome search strings. Two recent visitors searched for the following things, and Stupid is Better than Boring was one of the top results for each:

• AOL search for things to know about oregon
• Google search for funny slogan warcraft

First things first: Stupid is Better than Boring is obviously the #1 thing to know about Oregon, but I ain't too proud to provide a list of other things you should probably be aware of:

• 148 years ago yesterday, Oregon became a state
• There are 9 federally-recognized Native American tribal organizations in Oregon
• Ashland, Oregon hosts the most robust Shakespeare festival in the country
• Renowned film "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3" was filmed in Oregon
• According to Robert Putnam, and other smart people, Portland boasts more civic engagement than any other major city in the country
  
• Oregon has been on the cutting edge of public policy: The Minimum Wage, the Bottle Bill, Land Use Planning, Public Beaches, Death with Dignity, the Oregon Health Plan, and Vote by Mail -- all born here.

Second wayward visitor, I haven't forgotten about you. How could I? The twinkle in your eye, your special musk.... Ahem. Let's not get carried away. This is a family blog, after all. Anyway, because you are a Warcraft fan, and because you are probably wondering what the Bus is, I have created the following slogans especially for you:

• We like to talk about the Seven Es: Education, Election reform, Equal rights, Environment, Economic strength, 'ealth care, and Exterminating Orcs
• WoW! Get on the BuS!
• Not left, not right, but beyond the dark portal
• Bus Gala 2007: Reign of Chaos

Diapers and Dentures

This blog takes a small four-month break and an ELECTION happens?! Why didn't anybody TELL me about Diapers and Dentures? Muppets and Matlock?

Did you know that The Muppets was voted second only to The Simpsons on a poll the of 100 Greatest Kids' TV Shows conducted by a British television station?

Did you also know that Worzel Gummidge beat out Sesame Street? I am really starting to wonder about this list, especially because some of the names sound suspiciously, uh.. adult-oriented:

• Bod
• H.R. Pufnstuf
• Jim'll Fix it (I bet he'll fix the TV real good)
• Bagpuss (Seriously?)

STOP DISTRACTING ME. I didn't come here to talk about TV shows. I have an announcement! Actually, two of them.

First, we are hoping to provide frequent content on this here "Web Log." It might be fun, but it's more likely to be stupid. Second, there's a lot happening outside of the virtual world, believe it or not. So log off World of Warcraft and put down that bag of Doritos, and join a Bus Project committee, meeting in Portland just about every week. For example, you could help out with SDR*. It's like DDR, but with more nerds.


*SDR is short for Same-Day Registration, an amazing idea that improves voter access and puts the shine on a participatory democracy. Seven states already have it. But combined with our extant vote-by-mail system, SDR would pretty much make Oregon the most democratic state in the country -- AWESOME.

Canvassing 101, with a twist

Here at the Bus Project, we do NOT fuck around with solicitation. Any seasoned canvasser knows that this subject is fraught with peril.

I can picture it now: you're volunteering a weekend afternoon for a great progressive legislative candidate,and it's 100 degrees out. Your pits are soaked and your throat is parched. You waddle up a strange path and knock timidly on the strange door. Somebody opens, but remains hidden in the shadows. They take one look at you and your clipboard, and they let loose...

"Can't you read? NO. SOLICITING."

Crap! You hadn't seen the little sign on their door. Or, you chose to ignore it. Either way, this is a terribly vexing situation. The next few moments are crucial -- what do you do? Cower in fear? Run away? Attempt to explain that you're not a door-to-door salesman?

WRONG, DUMMY!

Because you are so dumb, I am going to write you a list. These are all tried-and-true responses to this difficult situation at the door.

The first option:

• "I'm not selling anything -- just democracy! Tee hee!"

If you can be cute and get away with it, then by all means, go with this one. If you are a large man with thick glasses, on the other hand, I would only recommend this approach if you are wearing diapers.

Second option: you can take a little trip down Irony Lane.

• "I'm not selling anything! Just this very fine vacuum cleaner."

I recommend carrying a vacuum cleaner with you on the off chance that the person at the door wants to inspect the device. But if you've perfected the vacuum cleaner bit and want more of a challenge, then I have a suggestion for you. The third option, and this is for advanced canvassers only:

• "I'm not soliciting! The mere accusation offends me. All I am doing is offering up my body in exchange for a set amount of the currency that is commonly accepted within these borders."

What a gem, if you can pull it off. Option number four:

• "I'm not soliciting. I just wanted to have a real conversation with you. I am genuinely interested in finding out what things about Oregon you truly hold dear!"

Please. Don't even think this codswallop will fly at the doorstep. They will Tonya Harding your ass faster than you can say "Carrot Top is a much better figure from the 1990s who has slid into laughable irrelevancy, Galen."